My dad wasn’t like everyone else’s Dad, he couldn’t move me into uni, or even give me a hug. But that’s ok, because as I think about what he has done, he has been the biggest influence on my life and who I have become and continue to be.
He is the reason I spend too much money on travelling, our shared love of experiencing new worlds, the reason I am opinionated and believe in equality, the NHS, am a feminist, like he was, and that we should live in a fair society.
My love of a party… always the last to leave. My love of having a drink or 10, my love of dark humour, sarcasm and swearing too much. Even in this darkest time we have all laughed so much, and he would have loved that.
And of course, my love of music, something that has truly shaped the whole of my life. I will miss the vinyls that would turn up at work to continue my musical education but most of all I will just miss my Dad.
And finally, my love of love. We might not have had a chance to say goodbye or tell him we loved him one last time, but we said it all the time and I feel comforted in the knowledge he left the world knowing just how loved he was and we knew how much he loved us all.
Dad believed that when you died, that was it. All over. And for some that may be hard to take, but It doesn’t upset me, because if you want to hear him, feel him and be with him you just need to look at all of us. He’s in the words we say, like Fuck Off, the songs we sing and dance to, our values and all the journeys we choose.
In the words of Neil Young “Old Man Look At My Life, I’m A Lot Like You Are”
